How to Survive Postpartum

8 Tips for Cesarean Recovery

Now, I write this with these grains of salt: ..

I had a C-section. While I know that recovery looks different for vaginal deliveries, I cannot speak to a natural birth or a medicated vaginal birth. That being said, all the nurses that came in and asked, “Wait, so did you have a natural birth or a C-section?”, were usually horrified to hear that I had pushed for 7 hours and they immediately treated recovery as though I had been through both (I very nearly had). The two things I know for sure that didn’t happen was that our girl did not come through the birth canal after meeting my pubic bone and I did not tear. Thank goodness for that second one, except I just got a huge incision instead! So, just know that this is where I am coming from: 36 hours of labor, 7 hours pushing, ending in a C-section. If you haven’t read my birth story, all the gory details can be found HERE. Let’s jump into my favorite tips for C-section recovery.

1. To Begin: Move Slowly. Walking HURTS. The incision burned and every tiny movement made me think I would never walk normally again because the first time I stood up, I couldn’t straighten out and stumbled like a drunk, bent over, old hag to the bathroom. But everything ends. I promise I have regained my vigor and can now walk, which is good and necessary for life with a new baby! It took time and you really need to walk before you can run and stand before you can walk. Before walking, I just adjusted myself in bed. I sat up a little straighter. I finally rotated and got my feet out of bed. C-section recovery for me was trying to focus on one tiny moment in time, like how I was doing right in this second. Was I okay standing? Was I going to pass out? Was I focusing my entire being on figuring out how to breastfeed? I gave 100% to every single second of every. Single. Day. It was exhausting, but also a complete blur because of heavy painkillers and adrenaline. Now, I have heard that bellies tend to be really sensitive to the touch after birth, but guys, that was nothing compared to the incision site. It was insane. I understand the sore belly because it finally kicked in 4-5 weeks postpartum after my scar was nearly healed up. But at first, that was where ALL the pain was coming from and it burned like fire. It overshadowed any other pain I was feeling after my 36 hour labor. I don’t know how to describe that feeling any other way. It’s okay to take it easy. Now is not the time to do everything, but to do one thing at a time very deliberately.

2. What I’m about to say next sounds extremely counter-intuitive and opposite from the last point, however, you need to get up as soon as possible and WALK. This is where taking every moment deliberately comes in. I felt like I was taking things too fast, but the reality is the more you walk early on, the faster you’ll heal from your C-section. The nurses had me walking as soon as possible, but I wish I had known to do that for myself earlier. My first time out of bed fell in the middle of the night (go figure) which wasn’t my favorite thing in the world. It was about 3 am when the night shift nurses waltzed in and announced, “time for your first trip out of bed to the bathroom” and I was like, “now”? In a ‘huh, that’s weird’ tone and the nurses laughed and said “Yes, now!” (It helped to joke about literally everything in the hospital because I was overwhelmed.) So they helped me get out of bed and limp slowly to the bathroom. Looking back, I know that if all had gone according to my birth plan, I would have been at the birth center, had a water birth, and would have needed to immediately walk to the bed after giving birth so that they could record and manage any bleeding. It felt impossible to move, but I was surprised at how quickly my body adapted and with how much better I felt once I got out of that bed. Not too long after that, I started getting out of bed on my own to take laps around the room every few hours. It was wonderful. It’s nice to cuddle with a newborn, but it was nicer still to see her in her Father’s arms while I was standing because I felt like I could actually take it all in. Being on my feet helped me feel like a new woman. Moving slowly applies to walking as well so don’t start running marathons in the hospital room or you’re going to scare the nurses.

3. Having a belly band is the best so don’t miss out. I’m fairly certain that no matter what your end experience is in the hospital, you can request one and they will give it to you. I’m sure you could also order an affordable one online for a birth center or home birth. I didn’t take mine off until I literally couldn’t tighten it anymore because I was too small for it, weeks after birth. My belly band was the best thing ever. It may have even beat my amazing pregnancy pillow, which was my all time favorite item I used during pregnancy. It held everything in, made what was left of my abs feel like they were healing, and helped me keep track of the progress I was making every single day towards feeling whole again after such an unexpected surgery. My whole recovery is a bit hazy (I was on really heavy painkillers so actually in a land of fuzzy trees), but it was nice to have one point of progress to focus on. A note here is that “bouncing back” to your pre-pregnancy body is NOT a thing. This is about strength and focusing on your healing. It was great to tighten the band every day and be excited that my belly was coming back together, but I had to throw out “bouncing back” during this entire process of pregnancy and birth. I’m planning on writing an entire post on this topic (It might even be a collab with a friend who has a fantastic blog :), so be on the lookout for that!

4. One of the best things I did for myself was to set up postpartum stations in our apartment before going into labor. From doing lots of research, I saw that some women like to do this while in early labor to give themselves to focus on. In my own experience, all I wanted to do in early labor was to chatter endlessly. That may not be the same with the second child, but if I know one thing about myself, it’s that if I’m happy or anxious about something, I’ll exhaust every angle talking about it. So I set up everything a week or two in advance. I had one basket next to the toilet for pads, diapers (for me), peri bottle, tucks, dermaplast, and extra witch hazel. Key words are next to. I had the basket on the back of the toilet at first and let me tell you that the last thing I wanted to do was twist around to grab from that because I forgot to grab everything first. As for the pad/adult diaper debate, I did both. I had prepared for a vaginal delivery, which typically involves a lot more bleeding post-birth but the reality was that I didn’t bleed a ton because they clean the uterus out pretty well during C-sections and I figured out that the edge of the adult diapers scraped my incision and irritated the stitches. So. The mesh underwear and giant pad combo that the hospital provided was honestly a solid choice as well. The second station I organized was by our bedside and had everything for breastfeeding/baby. I kept the Haakaa in there, tons of disposable breast pads, burp cloths, gripe water, a thermometer, a bulb syringe, and all those misc. items. Having these stations set up before coming home saved me so much energy and time postpartum. It also meant that Gregory knew exactly where every single thing was when I asked for it. It puts too much strain on everybody if you have to explain where something is four times before you get what you need! I also made sure that the changing table was organized in a way that made sense to us because Greg did all of those early diaper changes. I put everything he could need within reach and made it very easy to find. New parents are tired, okay! Make everything as easy on both of you as you can.

5. Let people help you. This seems like a no-brainer, but there’s also that little voice that says “You can come back from this on your own. You should be able to walk on your own. You can feed yourself and your baby simultaneously! Stop being slow and stop making everything complicated for everyone else!” Throw that garbage out the 13th story window, okay? Pretty quickly, I realized that I couldn’t. I was slow, I couldn’t figure out how to feed myself and Felicity at the same time, I had to hold onto Greg's forearms while walking at snail’s pace, and I had to ask someone else to grab things. Gregory fed me bites of hospital food while I focused entirely on getting the hang of breastfeeding. What helped the most in the hospital was that Greg watched what the nurses were doing to help me recover and instead of leaving them to their jobs, he took over anything that he could. This meant that my best friend and partner in life was applying every bit of his knowledge of me as a person into the needs of my post-surgery care, instead of a nurse in the middle of her 12 hour shift who just wants to go home. Also, a good friend of mine had set up a meal train for us, which we were so grateful for. We actually had no good plans for eating once we got home, but so many people dropped by with food over the first two weeks. They didn’t expect to hold the baby or to stay for a long visit, they just brought healthy, filling meals. It was wonderful. I highly recommend accepting if someone offers to start a meal train for you! Let people do things for you; it will allow you to focus on healing from birth and bonding with your newborn.

6. What is the term now: crunchy? I’m sort of crunchy. I don’t take painkillers if I don’t have to. I would buy raw milk if I had a proper dealer. I wouldn’t see a doctor unless I had a broken bone. I walk it off most of the time (even when I probably shouldn’t) and I take good supplements sometimes (which I probably should). The most important thing that I set myself up for before labor was that I was going to make informed decisions, but I was also going to listen to my midwives and to try everything they asked of me. Then, I had my unplanned C-section and applying that mentality looked like taking the painkillers. This isn’t a “push through it” kind of situation. I wanted a completely unmedicated birth. Go ahead, you can call me crazy. It isn’t for everyone! But post C-section, I took every bit of the painkiller they suggested. In the hospital, it was easy to remember but once I got home, I had to keep myself on a schedule. The first time I forgot to cover my 8 hour dose with my four hour one, I was very not okay. It took Gregory a bit to figure out that that was what was going on. So I made sure to take everything exactly as directed and to take it until it was gone. It was about then that my body caught up and could actually handle the amount of pain I was in. It became manageable. It is so important to remember that a C-section is in fact, major surgery and now is not the time to be pushing through pain instead of taking the edge off.

7. Your living space does not need to be pristine. Rest! Take your time and heal. I pushed it pretty soon after birth. I tend to go through phases of cleaning on a regular basis where I let things pile up a bit and when they start driving me crazy, I clean everything in one fell swoop (Google didn’t recognize fell as a word in this context and that made me sad). It’s effective, but A LOT of work once the cleaning frenzy kicks in. The first day I cleaned, the kitchen looked pristine when I was done and the bathroom finally looked presentable. Clean the bathroom before going into labor; you’ll thank yourself later. Ask other people to clean! It feels weird the first couple of times, but having everything a little cleaner because of their help will bring peace of mind. Schedule a cleaning party before birth so that when you get home, everything is already ready for you when you’re in survival mode with recovery and a new baby.

8. Finally, I lived in sweatpants and loose sweaters postpartum. If getting dressed up and putting makeup on while newly postpartum feels great and gives you more energy than it takes, by all means, please awe and astound us! I was so so happy that my 9 month pregnant self had enough wherewithal to grab several sets of sweats. Loose fitting shirts and high waisted pants are the postpartum mom’s friend. Also worth mentioning is that if those really adorable pre-pregnancy jeans aren’t going to fit directly post-birth, neither are your underwear. Make sure that if you got by during pregnancy without maternity specific ones, you get some really amazing high waisted maternity underwear for postpartum. Those saved me because every other band sat right on my incision site. Most of the sweats did too, but I lived through it!

Finally, recovery is at your own pace. Comparing to other people is just going to injure how you look at pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. Let go of the need to look at others and assume that their experience is how your experience should be. Postpartum is a crazy journey, but it is your journey. And sometimes that means having absolutely no idea what tips you want to follow until you’ve been through it! My entire focus was facing postpartum one second at a time and deciding what was most important to me. I would say that my focus has shifted at this point in my recovery. It’s less about hopefully making it across the room while holding my incision and more about becoming strong and healthy for when I have another child. My favorite phrase those first couple of weeks was “This will end.” And I will be stronger for it.

It helps that you have a very beautiful child home with you, going through the same throes of trying to figure out how the world works now that they aren’t in the womb. You guys are doing this together, so hang onto the beauty of the postpartum time. Before, I hated when people told me, “enjoy this time because it goes so fast!” All I could think is that I would like it to go faster because it was so hard. I could enjoy it later, when I wasn't as exhausted. My baby would be the same person, after all. But what they didn’t tell me is not that it won’t be the most difficult thing in my entire life, but that those highs of having a newborn, when you look down at them and they’re staring at you with those grey eyes and you look at your spouse and see the same features, that you can’t get those first moments back. So, yes, it’s not easy, by any means, but let go of the hard and don’t let it define the entire postpartum experience. It is wild, beautiful, and messy, and Christ is there in the midst of it all.